Climate Change Personalities: Which one are you?
We’ve observed many different types of people arguing the toss over climate change. Here is our summary of the major personality types. Which one are you?
The Un-Invested
The Un-invested are in the earlier stages of life and so have the most to lose. It is they that will be around to clear up the mess in 50 years, and they have life expectancies of up to 100 years to ensure that the problem gives them continued headaches. The Un-Invested are not afraid of change and are not afraid to rebel against some aspects of traditional society, and so they fully support radical green measures. Having not yet acquired expensive cars and mortgages means that they are not at risk from the eco-tax-man anyway.  Al Gore is cool and climate change deniers are conservative fascists.
The Un-Invested are most often found on university campuses or lounging in Starbucks.
The Worrier
The Worrier puts climate change high up on a list which includes skin cancer, interest rate rises and unwashed foreigners. They are awfully concerned and share these concerns with people at cocktail parties, particularly since their beachside holiday home may loose its value due to rising sea-levels.
 Worriers are proud of their energy efficient light bulbs, but air-travel offsets are terribly expensive and they do find it difficult to read train timetables. Sports cars are environmentally unsound, but 4×4s are the only safe means of transporting the children to school. Worriers don’t worry nearly enough about the supporting science, which is very complicated but must be correct because Prince Charles said so.
Worriers are most often found in suburban settings applying heavy-duty pesticides to their roses.
The Denier
Climate change is not happening. It’s a liberal conspiracy brought about by people who are jealous of the Deniers wealth and affluence. It’s easy to see that there are a thousand reasons why we a not responsible for climate change - what about all those cows and volcanoes? How can humankind have the slightest impact on our planet when our population only doubles every 50 years and we only emit 27 squillion tons of greenhouse gasses each year? Even if manmade climate change were true, the Denier is only responsible for a tiny part of it and it is anyway somebody else’s problem. The Un-Invested can sort it as a thank you for paying all those school fees.
Deniers are most often found in golf clubs, BMW dealerships or on once unspoilt tropical islands.
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The Believer
It’s happening. There are reports everywhere. The world is going to end. There are some pesky doubters, but they are only trying to protect their 4×4s and large houses. Unfortunately, despite their low energy light bulbs and rather chilly living rooms the Believer hasn’t yet been very successful at reducing their Co2 emissions - one does still have a life to lead and most green options are terribly inconvenient.
Believers tend to be city dwellers but can be found anywhere.
The Eco-Warrior
Eco-Warriors are hard core to the point of lunacy and lead no compromise low carbon, fat free, vegetarian , energy saving ecologically sound lifestyles. En Eco-Warrior would rather walk 100 miles over broken glass than travel the same distance in a car. Eco-Warriors vote for political parties that always loose, smoke roll-up cigarettes and have cool names which usually end with a y, such as Swampy, Manky or Stinky.
Eco-Warriors can be found in places where deniers, worriers and believers would never go.
The Scientist
The Scientist is smart, well educated and enjoys a good argument. Climate change is the perfect tool with which to demonstrate their superior powers of intellect and debate. Some scientists are sceptical of other scientists who believe that Co2 causes global warming, and will tirelessly question the research results. Other scientists are sceptical of those scientists who are sceptical of other scientists. Usually a scientist will simply choose a position on the debate for fun, in order to annoy Believers or Deniers.
Scientists have been known to reduce Believers to tears and have been seen having bloody fights with Deniers at parties. It is impossible to win an argument with a Scientist since the discussion is always reduced to sub-atomic physics, of which most people, including many Scientists themselves have no clue as to what they are talking about.
Scientists can be found anywhere that believers and deniers hang out, but are recognisable by their difference in dress sense.
The Ignorer
The Ignorer hasn’t really considered the subject, although they did once hear something about that Al Gore chap when they accidentally watched the news last week. They anyway have far more important things to worry about. But climate change won’t really affect [insert country of residence] anyway, will it? Isn’t it just a problem for people without cars? Ignorers have more credit cards than most people and double the number of shoes.
Ignorers can often be found driving a large 4×4 along a bus lane whilst simultaneously discussing life style options on their cell-phones.
The Pragmatist
The Pragmatist understands the risks imposed by climate change, but is wise to the way that the world works and knows that humankind will get several things wrong before they get anything right. Usually at great expense, so it’s often better just to leave it alone anyway. The pragmatist takes every opportunity to be green - but only when it saves money at the same time, or at least when it doesn’t cost too much.
Pragmatists are most often found in bars or at home writing for climate change websites.
Subtext
Light heartedness aside, there is a rather more serious issue at stake here. The point which we have tried to illustrate with this article is that for the majority of people (but not all) their position on the climate change issue is determined by their circumstances rather than by any logical thought process.
One of the original aims of TalkClimateChange is to deepen the debate and the general level of understanding on the topic. By doing this we can break down some of the prejudices referenced above and ensure that mankind makes a proper response to this issue.
What’s your view?
HaHa! Put me down as a believer..